This is rich, cinematic worldbuilding! I was drawn in right from the prologue and then realized there are more chapters so I've been slowly consuming them over the last couple weeks! Alas, I've found time to actually comment :)
The mythic tone of the “Book of Books” contrasts beautifully with the grounded, human detail of Dawn’s first chapter. You’ve built a setting that feels ancient and alive, with religion, ritual, and social hierarchy woven so naturally that it reads like history instead of exposition.
I really liked how you use small domestic moments (Dawn brushing her hair, praying, walking through the lantern-lit streets) to show the ideology she’s internalized. It’s subtle but powerful — we see how devotion and order are baked into her worldview long before conflict even begins.
I’m excited to see how Dawn’s loyalty to Erom gets tested. This world feels like it’s hiding something sacred and dangerous beneath the surface.
Wow just came across your page
Love the work you’re doing
And in chapter format ?? 🙌
Aww thanks so much! Means a lot :)
This is rich, cinematic worldbuilding! I was drawn in right from the prologue and then realized there are more chapters so I've been slowly consuming them over the last couple weeks! Alas, I've found time to actually comment :)
The mythic tone of the “Book of Books” contrasts beautifully with the grounded, human detail of Dawn’s first chapter. You’ve built a setting that feels ancient and alive, with religion, ritual, and social hierarchy woven so naturally that it reads like history instead of exposition.
I really liked how you use small domestic moments (Dawn brushing her hair, praying, walking through the lantern-lit streets) to show the ideology she’s internalized. It’s subtle but powerful — we see how devotion and order are baked into her worldview long before conflict even begins.
I’m excited to see how Dawn’s loyalty to Erom gets tested. This world feels like it’s hiding something sacred and dangerous beneath the surface.