Whenever I am reading a work of fiction, the character study makes me wonder "who inspired this character? is it just a figment of imagination? Or is it based on someone the author knows? Or who the author is?". Lilly is given a lot of thought in this chapter. I enjoyed her description in the beginning of the chapter. 'She was open, asked all the right questions, and listened as if the words you spoke to her were her lifeline...she did not believe in small talk. When she asked, “how are you doing today?”, she genuinely cared, and if you lied, she would know instantly, and you would have no choice but to tell her what was on your heart' . She sounds like someone I would like to be around. It is interesting that she is presented as a parent figure, in contrast with Dawn's biological mother. As a "parent" figure she is a bit unusual for our culture. "Lilly challenged her, pushed her, and helped her sort out the broken pieces of her soul.." She's one that the main character confides in without being pampered in return- being built up instead.
Aw I'm so glad you're enjoying it :)! Yes, the ROMANCE. Probably my favorite part to write hehe. It sparks my inner teenage girl every time I re-read those parts lol
Loved this chapter. The shift from celebration to unease is paced really well: Dawn’s banter with Wolfe, the messy spark with River, and then that gut-punch of the box and Lilly’s letter. The “Brookesdaughter” slip and Wolfe vanishing before the slow dance are great breadcrumbs. And the letter reframes the whole world in one page without dumping lore. Nicely done.
Thank you so much for all the detailed, thoughtful comments! You describe aspects of my writing very clearly and that's very encouraging and helpful to me :) Definitely will be using some of your comments if I ever make a "what readers are saying about the Unmarked post" 😁
Whenever I am reading a work of fiction, the character study makes me wonder "who inspired this character? is it just a figment of imagination? Or is it based on someone the author knows? Or who the author is?". Lilly is given a lot of thought in this chapter. I enjoyed her description in the beginning of the chapter. 'She was open, asked all the right questions, and listened as if the words you spoke to her were her lifeline...she did not believe in small talk. When she asked, “how are you doing today?”, she genuinely cared, and if you lied, she would know instantly, and you would have no choice but to tell her what was on your heart' . She sounds like someone I would like to be around. It is interesting that she is presented as a parent figure, in contrast with Dawn's biological mother. As a "parent" figure she is a bit unusual for our culture. "Lilly challenged her, pushed her, and helped her sort out the broken pieces of her soul.." She's one that the main character confides in without being pampered in return- being built up instead.
I’m hooked girl. Your characters are so easy to like. I’m invested in the romance 😩 and of course also the rebellion lol
Aw I'm so glad you're enjoying it :)! Yes, the ROMANCE. Probably my favorite part to write hehe. It sparks my inner teenage girl every time I re-read those parts lol
Loved this chapter. The shift from celebration to unease is paced really well: Dawn’s banter with Wolfe, the messy spark with River, and then that gut-punch of the box and Lilly’s letter. The “Brookesdaughter” slip and Wolfe vanishing before the slow dance are great breadcrumbs. And the letter reframes the whole world in one page without dumping lore. Nicely done.
Thank you so much for all the detailed, thoughtful comments! You describe aspects of my writing very clearly and that's very encouraging and helpful to me :) Definitely will be using some of your comments if I ever make a "what readers are saying about the Unmarked post" 😁
Ahh that makes me so happy to hear! 💖
I’d be honoured to make a cameo in your “what readers are saying” post one day 🥰
Your world and characters have so much depth. It’s a joy to dig into them. I’ve put the other chapters on my reading list 🫶✨